“Where Did I Go?” … a poem

“Where Did I Go?”

Akua Allrich ©2009

 

Where did I go?

When did I leave

Been looming above my own self

Looking down on a moving body

A body working on living

Living in the working

Loving too long

Too wrong

Not quite present

Not quite absent

 

Am I loosing you

Am I loosing me

Wrapped up in quivering legs too afraid to step forward

for fear that they may walk down the wrong path

It is a path well treaded by many before me

I look to nowhere and my body walks to anywhere

Anywhere that offers feeling

Extreme feeling

Burning heat, biting cold

Passion and pain

Reminds me that I am still living

Addicted to it

The feeling of presence without being present

As I loom above my own self

 

But how did I get in this lost space

So lost I can’t keep still

Must …

Keep …

Moving …

I can see the end of this path

And it is bleak

It is

But this hill is so steep

My feet slip on the wetness of the warmth beneath my feet

It is not Asase Yaa

Not the earth

For I am not grounded

Have not been

 

It is warm and somewhat sticky

Like fresh sugarcane nectar

But its smell …

while inviting, has a rankness that repels my spirit

Yet I continue into the abyss of its sour sweetness

As I loom above my own self

 

I watch as I try to get some perspective

Find Asase yaa

Reconnect with the earth

But I just spin

Round and round

I see those eyes of mine below

We see eachother

And as they reach for me to return and give guidance

I can not

 

Waited too long to become

Waited too long to reconnect

It all seems too difficult

And yet

So simple

Can I not just reach out to my self and return to me

Or am I too far from understanding who I am

Who I am to be

 

How did I get here

When did I leave me

Where am I

Where did I go?